POOPING RELATED

Pooping is a delicate issue, so delicate that I have to write it in English. I have no idea which part of my childhood got screwed up that I can only talk about this most natural issue using a foreign language. I can only hope that I am not doing the same thing to my daughter. Oh by the way, this thinking process is just making this whole thing so much more delicate that if it goes on by this rate, I’m afraid I might have to pick up Spanish or French before Amy got fully trained.

Without further ado of my bulls**t (See? Even cursing becomes so much easier in English), here is the pooping situation.

Amy has been able to go pee in the potty for a little over 4 months now, but still poops in her panties. Counting the days during which the teachers (yes, teachers, not me) tried to train Amy to pee, that’s almost seven months we (actually, they, the teachers) are trying to make her poop in the potty. But it’s always the same, the minute we put her on the potty, even when the timing is so perfect that she has almost started pushing, she’d say I AM DONE and get off potty herself.

So naturally when this past Saturday I put Amy on the potty to make her poop, I didn’t have much hope. Suddenly remembering I had something cook on the stove, I left Amy on the potty and went downstairs to check the stove. Amy started to yell “I DID IT I DID IT I POOPED” before I actually reached the stove.
I have been waiting for this moment so long that I didn’t realize things will only get harder and more complicated since then. I was so happy I gave Amy five candies.

The tough part only kicked in the next day. Now that the expectation is high, I started to get nervous ever since Amy got up. Every 10 minutes I’d ask her, “Do you wanna go poop on the potty?” looking all excited. A good thing about a 2.5 year old is that she hasn’t learnt how to say SHUT UP yet. She’d just very patiently tell me, “no mommy.” Some time even a “no thank you”. I was so ashamed of myself I stopped asking. But I still can’t help being nervous. So I observed carefully instead. The second she stopped talking and looked like start to concentrate, I’d figure out way to take her to the bathroom. Like, “mommy wanna go potty, you wanna go with me?” or, “It’s teddy’s turn to go potty”… About 10 trips to the bathroom and 5 times actually making her sit on the potty, SHE ACTUALLY DID IT AGAIN! I guess somehow this smart little one figured if she doesn’t do it mommy’s gonna go nuts.

Thank God the following day is the teachers’ turn. Therefore in the morning, I happily delegated this job to them, explaining in detail how to observe, how to not be annoying (ha!), and how to give her privacy. Now that the freaky mommy is off duty, of course Amy won’t do it anymore. However, this little angel didn’t wanna disappointed her psycho mommy too much that she didn’t poop at all that day.

The surprise came on Tuesday morning 7am. Instead of singing cuck-a-doodle-do to wake me up, Amy yelled, “mommy! I pooped in my panties!” I rushed there, tried to clean her up as usual. However, the minute I put her down, she started to cry really really hard, as if she’s really ashamed of herself. Ok, now I officially not just freaked out myself, also the little angel. :(
I bet 30 years later somewhere my Amy would be using whatever foreign language describing her little one's pooping situation in her whatever things that's similar to a blog.

And this, is not even the worst part. That came, on Wednesday. 5am that morning, a tender, almost timid cry woke me up. I went to amy's room, only finding out she had had such a bad diarrhea, she had soiled her sheets. Diarrhea has always been embarrasing for her. This time I am not sure if it's just my freaky imagination or not, but it seems to me like she's never been so ashamed of herself. It doesn't matter how I explained to her this is natual, this is ok, she just couldn't stop crying.

So here comes now, Thursday, the diarrhea is gone. But the little one's so scared she's not pooping any more. :(

DAMN POOPING IS HARD!