Saturday, February 18, 2012

好为人师

DD在学校有个好盆友,叫LANE。

DD班上只有两个女生,剩下十多个男孩子,。这么多男生,只有LANE是他的好盆友,用老师 的话说,就是因为这俩人都很MILD。(用AMY的话说,就是因为俩人都是GIRL-KIND-OF BOY。

这俩人GIRL-KIND MILD 到了什么程度捏,某天DD的鞋子坏了,回家点名道姓告诉我要买SKETCHER牌儿的。带他去MALL里,满满一面墙琳琅满目长得全体差不多的鞋子里面,小同学一下子就挑好了一双。第二天穿去学校,我才发现,LANE穿着一模一样的一双。俩人热情拥抱,欢天喜地,载歌载舞,“we wear matchy shoes~ we wear matchy shoes~" (Elton John would be so proud.)


前文书有提,他们班上还有另外十来个正常的非常野蛮的男孩子。所以DD跟LANE这俩人是打也打不过,吼也吼不赢,就自己发明了一些COPING MECHANISM来SURVIVE。最新的一招,是板着脸,做出一副DD很生气,问题很严重的表情,同时发出一种奇怪的声音,非常类同于火警,“昂!!!!!!昂!!!!!!!昂!!!!!”反复不止,直到来犯对方被吵得头晕目眩四肢瘫软。

本着老二当宠物养的精神,我基本上是所有的问题都随他去,各种声音任由他制造。可是昨天,是teacher parent conference day。要依着我呢。宠物嘛,请家长我也一样海阔天空的继续溺爱。
怎奈何,一放学,小动物就自己来问我问题,MOMMY MOMMY, Ms. G says she talked with you today. What did you guys talk about?
本人说啥也是一美剧忠实粉丝高级知识分子,对于这种低级问题对策高明着嘞,What do you think we talked about?
小盆友哪里是我的对手,想了一下就忙不迭的坦白,I think Ms. G told you me and Lane fight and we say 昂!!!!昂!!!!a lot.
小盆友有这么高的觉悟,马迷自然就有义务随便教育一下。反正美剧里面二手贩来的心理学教育学一套一套的,什么你要是生气了就要讲出来啊,你发出奇怪的声音谁也帮不了你啊,你跟LANE两个人有问题就要好好谈啊,如此这般对付讲了半分钟,我们娘儿俩便转入正题,
Did you miss mommy today?
I missed you ALL THE TIME! 母子尽欢,载歌载舞的回家去也。

我以为这件事情就完了,结果转过天来,去接DD。
小盆友见到我第一句话是,Mommy today I had a talk with Lane.
哦?你们每天不是很多TALK,为毛要告诉马迷这一个TALK?
Because this is an important talk! I told him that when he gets mad, he cannot just say 昂!!!! He needs to either tell the teacher or his mommy that he's upset. He needs to calm himself down. He can't make any weird noise because nobody understand that and then they won't be able to help.
马迷这边被此人的好为人师惊得一愣一愣的,傻掉了三分钟以后才想起来问,真的么。。。那。。。那。。。那LANE怎么说?
Lane says, 昂!!!!!! 昂!!!!!!!!!昂!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Shopatriot said...

那麼長一串訓誨!
慢說四歲的 girl-kind boy
給我這四十歲刁婦聽到了都要昂昂昂起來... :D

Unknown said...

笑死我了!

你就让人家昂嘛!

One day at a time said...

哈哈哈哈哈哈
所以现在DD到底还昂不昂了
看来你这个好为人师的基因是发扬光大了!